Choosing Your Battles and Diffusing Bombs

Tantrums, meltdowns, high running emotions, whatever you want to call it, we all know what it’s like to have a child imploding right in front of you. 

“I want to go for a walk. Okay, lets get your shoes on, Nooooooo!!!!!!!” 

(Doesn’t your own brain just melt.  Like, you just said you wanted to go for a walk!) 

It’s so easy to level up, raising your voice, making demands and threats, “If you don’t come over here to get your shoes on I’m throwing your toys out!”  And then that makes your child yell, cry and makes you cry and yell, ultimately, ending up on a walk that no one wants to be on.  

But, I’ve been trying reeeeaaalllly hard lately to take the calm approach.  Whatever the situation, I’ve been trying reeeeeaaallllly hard not to lose my cool, walk away, talk it out, be patient, and sometimes all of the above.  And do you know what I’ve noticed?  It’s so much more enjoyable!  We usually get to the endpoint at the same time, with less tears, and less regrets.

Here are some tips and strategies I’ve found to work for my family.

Deep breaths.

Let them talk it out.

BE PATIENT.

Continue to do your own thing (put on your own shoes, and your own coat, open the door, walk out and put your bag in the car, come back and see if they are ready.)

Give yourself time (and grace) when you know the situation could turn dire.  Ie. leaving the playground.  This way you have time to use these strategies instead of having to do the “under arm-screaming toddler-walk away”

Give them a hug.  A long cuddle.  Say “I love you”.

First, Then.  FIRST, let’s put your shoes on, THEN, let’s find a baby doll to bring on our walk.

Distraction.  This is not a give!  “Here hold your truck for me” Start putting on their shoes as you ask them “What color is your truck?  How fast can he go?  Can he drive on my head?  Can he drive on your head? How many tires does he have?” Aaaaand shoes are on.

Bribery.  But make it work for you!  Don’t make it something out of your way.  “OOO do you think the white cat will be in the neighbor’s window?  Let’s go see!”  “Do you want to drive past the house with the yellow front door (that is on our way to the park anyway)?”

What tips and tricks do you have to share for keeping the peace?

I love this book.

This month, I challenge you to count to ten and give more cuddles.